She said she could not express
the state of her soul, how dark
it was, how terrible.
Her thoughts to heaven rained
down on her like sharp knives.
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Quotes from Mother Teresa
"I am told God lives in me -- and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul," she wrote in one of the letters.
"Where I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love -- the word -- it brings nothing,"
In my soul, I can't tell you how dark it is, how painful, how terrible -- I feel like refusing God."
Perhaps she struggled because deep down she knew there is no such thing as god, and she did not want to know this.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to read those letters. I appreciate Mother Teresa's willingness to write with such forthrightness. I wonder if Mother Teresa ever read THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST, by Nikos Kazantzakis, made into an extraordinary film by Martin Scorsese. Sounds like maybe she did. If not, Mother Teresa's experience is similar to that of Jesus in Kazantsakis' interpretation of Jesus.
ReplyDeleteA Tibetan Buddhist teacher said to me that her view is that there is no "God" and no "not-God." When I remember those words, I experience peace.
These quotes are amazing.
ReplyDelete