Tuesday, May 26, 2009

To Old Chucky

My father-in-law's funeral is today. His name was Charles. He had been ill with cancer for some time and outlived his doctor's prognosis by more than two years. The final two weeks were hard. He died a hard death.

When he was still feeling reasonably well, he told Allen that after he was gone he wanted us to have a glass of wine together. He wanted us to make a toast to him, saying, "To Old Chucky, wherever he is."

He last words to me were that he was ready to go. He also said he wanted Allen and me to enjoy our trip out west this summer.

Those statements were helpful and erased any guilt about going on the trip. The trip out west is something we have dreamed about for a long time. I was thinking the experience might add to the novel I've been working on. I was hoping to work on the novel "on the road."

It is hard on a man, losing his father. Allen said that taking care of his father during the last days was a spiritual experience. He said he wouldn't take a million dollars for the experience. He also said no one could pay him a million dollars to do it again.


ggw07 said...

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

In deepest sympathy,

Cynthia said...

I'm so sorry about Allen's dad.

Beth said...

I am sorry to hear about Allen's dad also, and can understand how caring in this way is a spiritual experience. Please accept my condolences. I share in your sorrow.

To Old Chucky, wherever he is.

GreenishLady said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My sympathies to you, Allen, and your family. It is a good thing that Allen got to spend that time with him, I'm sure. Blessings to you all.

alphawoman said...

My father died in his sleep at home with my Mom, from old age and complications from getting old. We had been in the hospital days before. I spent one of those nights there, at his side (the staff seems to take better care if there is a realative 24/7) and in the middle of the night, while changing my Dad's bed cloths ( a cathather (sp?) was out of the question and we volunteered to help the staff) he looked up at me with his startling blue eyes and said "My daughter Mary!". It still beings tears to my eyes. He died two days later. Your husband is right....My heart goes out for him and you. It is difficult loosing a parent, no matter how prepared you think you are.

emmapeelDallas said...


I'm so sorry for yours and Allen's loss. My thoughts are with you.




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"I was no better than dust, yet you cannot replace me. . . Take the soft dust in your hand--does it stir: does it sing? Has it lips and a heart? Does it open its eyes to the sun? Does it run, does it dream, does it burn with a secret, or tremble In terror of death? Or ache with tremendous decisions?. . ." --Conrad Aiken


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