It's a beautiful day. Bright and sunny. The grass looks so green. My flower garden is a mess. It's going to stay a mess since I won't be here to take care of it. My sage made it through the winter beautifully and now has big purple flowers on it. The yard is full, just full of birds.

Misc.

1. Dentist yesterday. Full series of x-rays, cleaning, replaced filling, new fillings. Sore mouth today.
2. Going to see Prince Caspian tonight with Allen and the boys!
3. Allen finished making the bike rack for our trip to Provincetown--coming soon!
4. Surprise! David Cook won American Idol! I let out a whoop. Yay.

May Day

Cloudy and chilly
May day recalls winter's dark
Feels like a school day

Things that made me sad today

1. Allen found out the gas station sold him some bogus gas and the gas damaged his boat motor.
2. Jason Castro got voted off of American Idol. He is the only contestant on Idol ever to make me cry with a song. His "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is quietly beautiful.
3. I found the old leather hat my husband has been looking for. It looked sad without him.

Provincetown / 7

Things I must do before going to Provicetown for the summer:

1. Clean my house.
2. Sleep next to my husband.
3. Pet my cats.
4. Give Milk Bone treats to our dogs.
5. Listen to the train in the dark.

49/50

Interpreting "The Pike" by
Amy Lowell

Lowell's pike is in the brown water.
Her pike is sleeping, unnoticed.
Lowell sees the pike, but we don't.
It is lost.


Then the suddenness, she says.
Her fish flicks its tail.
A green and copper brightness
flicks its tail.
The water is liquid and cool.
The fish is liquid and cool.

The fish is a symbol for god.
Poets do that.
They like to do that.
They all do it.
They can't help themselves.

Lowell's pike darts beneath the brown water.
Her pike's bright colors join with sun-colors
reflected on the water.
"Green and copper," Lowell says,
"A darkness and a gleam."

What does she want us to see?
The brown water animated by the fish.
The brown water animated by the sun.
Brown is water,
brown is us,
green is earth,
green is us,
copper is belly of earth,
we are belly of earth,
gleam is sun,
gleam is us.

A darkness and a gleam.
Bright colors on brown water,
bright colors in brown water,
a fish in sun drenched water.
God in water.
Water is god.
Fish is god.
Sun is god.
Poet is god.
We are god.
Jesus is criminal,
nailed to the cross.
Criminal is god.
God is a darkness and a gleam.
We are a darkness and a gleam.

The fish is not noticed.
The fish is lost.
We don't see it.

Close your eyes.
Do you see the fish?
Open your eyes.
Do you still see it?

48/50

I have just finished my last class of the semester and finished conferences. We had student readings in the Fiction Workshop. When the readings were over, I repeated to the class what I had said at the beginning of the semester: They will not remember exactly what people had said about their stories, but they will remember the community created in the classroom--if we did things right, they would remember that. And we did do things right. What a great class.

Then I chatted with students outside the classroom for the Native American Literature class as they finished the teacher evaluations. One shared his journal writings with me. He said he'd never written until he was sixteen. His journal was full of his own poetry and drawings. Another student talked about how Native American Philosophy had blown his mind (We used a text called Native American Thought). He is in the military and has traveled all over the world. He is so open to ideas and to adjusting his own life-philosophy.

Allen is picking me up at 5:30 and we're going to meet two friends for supper at an Indian restaurant, the Tandoor. Life is good.

46/50

Spring Night in Ohio

It's cold enough tonight to have a fire in the woodstove.
It's cold enough tonight for long sleeved pajamas.
Our cats are huddled together somewhere in the barn.
Our dogs are under the covers of our bed.
It's cold enough tonight to listen to Jim Croce's "I've got a name"
And to remember he's a long time dead,
His bushy moustache that I loved somewhere under the dirt.
It's cold enough tonight listen to Frank Zappa's "Dirty Love"
And to remember: he's gone now, too.
It's cold enough tonight to think of adieu.
Adieu: Said to wish a fond farewell; good-bye. ...
good-bye. ... good-bye.
Wood disentegrating in the stove,
smoke escaping from the chimney,
good-bye.

41/50

Yesterday, coming home from work, I noticed many of the fields looked suddenly green.

37/50

Imagine my surprise when I got home from work tonight at 9:30 and heard the whirring throats of frogs in our back yard.

I love their gentle, lonely sound, the sound of life.

I stood in the dark a long time, and listened.

36/50

My students would rather be outside.

35/50

Went for a three-mile walk beside the Maumee River this afternoon. It was so nice and warm outside, and the water had so much current in places it looked like it was boiling.

29/50

Rainy and cold today.

A male and female mallard have been swimming in our little back yard pond. They know it is spring, whether it feels like spring or not.

Animals are smart.

28/50

Friday afternoon, I saw a buzzard in the field beside our house. He was on the ground, holding his wings out, drying them in the sun. He was so cool.

17/50

1. I went online and bought tickets for the Lion King musical, which is in Toledo for six weeks. I'm excited!
2. I watched three episodes of The Sopranos.
3. I made chicken soup with olive oil and Italian seasonings.

11/50

1. I read a bunch of really good short stories Friday night.
2. Allen and I went to see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly this evening.
3. We were both largely disappointed in the movie.
4. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is based on real events. It about a man who has a stroke and then has "locked in" syndrome. His only way to communicate was by blinking one eye. In this way, he was able to dictate his memoir.
5. We were disappointed, but I'm still glad I saw it. You really can't come out of the movie without in some way being thankful that you are not that man. That isn't the only point of the movie, but that is the very human reaction people are likely to have to it.
6. I read something I disagreed with in The New Yorker. I may write about it tomorrow.
7. I thought a lot about a story I am working on.

10/50

1. I made curry this weekend, and nan.
2. I had coffee by the fire.
3. I practiced "Unchained Melody" on my keyboard.
4. I watched three episodes of The Sopranos.
5. I was very disturbed by two of the episodes because characters were killed that I had come to care about.
6. The two disturbing episodes keep turning in my brain.
7. It snowed over the weekend. A very pretty snow. But it remained very cold until Sunday. Sunday was a little warmer.
8. I didn't work on my new short story, but I thought about it a whole lot.

Today

1. Got up much earlier than usual, after just a few hours of sleep.
2. Had coffee by the fire.
3. Took bath and dressed for shopping and a movie.
4. Found out both music stores Allen wanted to go to were still closed for the holidays.
5. Went to the big cineplex to watch Sweeney Todd. I'm not a fan of musicals but am a fan of Johnny Depp. He did not disappoint. Only afterwards did I read the review of Sweeney Todd by Peter Travers in Rolling Stone. Travers nailed it. The end of Travers' review:

As the film follows its tragic course, Depp scores an explosive triumph. Covered in blood, Sweeney is finally engulfed by his emotions, and Depp finds the character's grieving heart. It's a staggering moment in a spellbinder of breathtaking beauty and terror.

6. Bought our son a microwave as a belated Christmas present. Well, he did need some way to warm all the leftovers I sent him home with Christmas night.
7. Came home and ate a bowl of ice cream while watching The Sopranos which was received from Netflix today.

New writing

I began a new piece of writing last night that I feel pretty good about.

Magic

The short stories of Andre Dubus are beginning to work their magic on me.